I meant to write another type of post but I admit I’m kind of rushing and half-assing a different one because I am far too tired to put the amount of effort, attention and careful consideration into the other one that I feel it deserves. I also posted on the new Facebook like page that I was going to write a new post tonight so before the clock strikes midnight I am keeping the promise I made to a small group of people that got the message that may not care :p One of my friends recently told me that after dinner your concentration and focus drastically breaks off so it’s best to finish any work you have to do as early in the day as possible and I have to attest to this, I’m definitely at my freshest in the morning (I’m going to save my little love post about super early and calm mornings for another day). See this is the thing, now that I’ve decided to be more consistent with the blogging it’s pretty much governed how I live my life, how I perceive large events and little daily occurrences…I’m constantly thinking “Ooooh, I could blog about that!” or “That reminds me of this, I remember that happening to me, I should write about it!”. It tires me out; I swear I can’t go to sleep at night sometimes because my mind won’t shut off.
But then again this slight case of insomnia is due to many other demands in my life…have you ever felt like there’s just so much to do and there’s not enough time to do it all? This is how I’ve been for the past couple of months, there’s not enough time in the day to do everything I want to, and I’m saying that quite literally. Besides all my other obligations like school and work and volunteering I just don’t feel like I even have any down time anymore. And then when I do I have to do other things that I like to do but may not particularly be in the mood to do, things weighing down on me like “I haven’t wrote in a few days”, “I haven’t talked to so and so in a while I should shoot them a text”, “I haven’t painted my toenails in a couple weeks”, things of that nature. And then other things that I used to take for granted living at home, the simple things to maintain myself like cleaning and doing laundry and making my meals. And then I go to go to bed and my freaking blinds keep falling down because my ratchet landlord won’t replace or fix them
But I’m not complaining, really I’m not. I love the independence of living away from “home”—I should write “from my parents”—and nothing can beat the satisfaction you get from doing things for yourself and taking responsibility for your future. Sometimes I don’t always want to go to class but I do it because when you calculate it, the cost per class at U of T is $43 or something (a little bit of info my roomie told me) and not only that I see what Wiz Khalifa would call “the bigger picture in a glass frame”. Success is a bunch of small measures taken together to eventually create something bigger, and it’s rewarding. So while I would rather sleep in sometimes, most times I get my ass out of bed to get my attendance marks and learn something relatively new.
Anyways I set out to write a post about being distracted, and it looks like I’ve succeeded in that, I’ve accomplished something from this exhaustion. My eyelids are heavy and I’m all comfortable and tucked in for the night in my big red lifeguard sweatpants and I just can’t write anymore, can’t do any of the things that I want to or know that I should do and probably actually SHOULD be doing instead of sitting on my butt typing this. But I’m satisfied, the day has passed with me being relatively efficient. And now it’s time for sleep. But see, I kept my word and wrote a post, with 10 minutes to midnight.
P.S. I also started a Twitter. Been hard at work trying to figure this foreign social media out like an old person who just got a cell phone. I’m done.